Remember the days when Tom Cruise was hot? Prior to the couch jumping Oprah cringing moment? The Top Gun, Days of Thunder days? Well, ok, so he’s aged, but he is still hotter than 99% of the world male population, right?
Thus, let’s all say hi to Tom’s butt crack… And wouldn’t you want him to sire a daughter like Suri with you? This is your lucky day then, by the powers granted to me by the Ministry of Divine Butts n Almighty Cracks, I hereby bestow on you, if you stare at the Tom’s buttcrack for 2 hours while chanting the mantra “GIMME THE MONEY”, one hubby the name of Tom, and a daughter named Suri, and one very strong couch.